This Shabbat, Let's Share Torah with Our Kids

As a blogger and a mom, I’m always looking for more ways to incorporate Judaism into our lives. So when my good friend Rabbi Leah Doberne-Schor asked me if she should share on my blog how she’s teaching her five-year-old about the weekly Torah portion each Shabbat, of course I said “yes.” Here’s what she wrote:

Recently, my family has begun introducing a short conversation about the Torah portion of the week as part of our Shabbat dinner discussion. I like to think of the portion (parasha in Hebrew) as a shared conversation among the Jewish community—we all read the same section at the same time (beginning with the start of Genesis during the holiday of Simchat Torah in the fall and finishing at the end of Deuteronomy the next year). 

Sharing Torah with my family has been an excuse for me to slow down and pay attention when I read the portion and to really think about how it relates to my life and to my family. I admit it’s not always easy, and some of our conversations are more successful than others. But I plug on because I believe that, in the long run, it will help us all learn and live and connect with our ongoing Jewish conversation about how to live a life of meaning and blessing.

While each parasha often contains many different stories, rules and/or ideas within it, I usually find it easiest to focus on one or two aspects of the portion. Because we'll come back to it the next year, we can discuss a different element of the parasha then.

This week the parasha is called Yitro, and it contains within it the Ten Commandments. (You can read them in Exodus 20:1-14.)

Questions I’m thinking about:

1. What are the rules we have at home? At school? What would happen if we didn’t have rules? If you could make rules, what would you include?

2. This week, God shared with the Jewish people 10 Rules called the 10 Commandments. Here is my version of child-friendly ones:

- I the Eternal am your God
- Do not have any other gods and do not make any pictures (images) of God
- Be respectful when you talk about God
- Celebrate Shabbat
- Respect your parents
- Do not hurt people (the original commandment: do not murder)
- Married people should respect each other (the original commandment: do not commit adultery)
- Do not take things that are not yours
- Do not tell lies about other people
- Be happy with what you have (don’t be jealous of the things other people have)

3. Choose one or two to talk about. Maybe it’s about why Shabbat has become important to your family. Or maybe it’s an opportunity to talk about using our kind words. Or learning to be happy with what you have. Whatever the case, I think it’s important to never put a kid on the spot. Don’t be afraid to share about your experiences in these areas; or use a hypothetical (what would happen if…) as a way to get into the conversation. 

4. Also, leave room for your child to ask his or her own questions! Consider asking your child if there is a rule that should be added to the list… and what it would be!

5. A gem for parents: Right after the Ten Commandments, God continues to share rules with the Israelites. God says “you shall not make any gods of silver, nor shall you make for yourselves any gods of gold” (Ex. 20:20). The Israelites had just been told to not make any idols and to not be jealous of what others have (what I interpreted for the kids as “be happy with what you have.”) Why do they need an additional reminder?

It’s really hard for us to be satisfied with what we have. In particular, so many of us would like to have just a little bit more–whether to send the kids to summer camp or take a vacation or fix up the home or whatever the case. We say to ourselves that our happiness depends, in some measure, on that additional wealth. But when we do this, do we not verge on making an idol out of money (aka modern day “gold” and “silver”)? Yes, material wealth can make life easier, but it is never the end; rather, it is a means that can be put to wise and good use not only for us, but to better the world around us.

What an important reminder for us that we can, by not only our words but also by our deeds, teach our children a healthy, appropriate role for money and all of the material objects in our lives!

My "Emergency" Shabbat

We'd run out of Shabbat candles. We couldn't get groceries. We weren't going anywhere. What's a family to do but improvise?

This Friday, we had planned to spend Shabbat dinner at the JCC. Of course, life is what happens when you're making other plans. Evelyn came down with either a bad cold or a mild case of the flu (we'd all gotten the flu shot) and had a fever, which meant that we were staying home.

I opened the fridge. Half a gallon of milk, a few sticks of butter and a lot of condiments stared back at me. So I turned to the pantry. Angel hair pasta, dried garlic, olive oil ... a few fresh grape tomatoes. I did happen to have some Parmesan cheese in the fridge, so dinner was saved!

We used votive candles. I don't think they were kosher. I don't think it mattered. The important thing was, we were all together.

"Emergency" Shabbat Dinner:

Ingredients:

pasta
olive oil
a spoonful of minced dried or fresh garlic
chopped tomatoes
Parmesan cheese

Cook pasta according to package directions; drain. Pour enough oil into pot to coat the bottom; add garlic. Cook over medium heat until garlic begins to turn golden. Add tomatoes and cook until tomatoes begin to soften. Remove from heat: add pasta and toss to coat. Add more oil, if you need to. Serve with cheese.

Chinese Food, Movies, Friends and Family

What's a Jew to do on Christmas but spend some time with friends and family eating Chinese food and watching movies? This year we went to the Jewish Community Center of Central New Jersey for their "Chinese Food and a Movie" event.

Okay, so the kids didn't make it through the entire screening of "Finding Nemo." We had a great time, met some new people and even got to go swimming. Many thanks to the JCC for the free lunch and to the folks who went to work on Christmas to make it happen.

Menorah Art Projects for Hannukah

Every year my son's preschool has all of the kids go home and create a non-working menorah with their parents, then bring them in to share with the school. These families are so creative! Here are just a few of the homemade menorahs lining the halls:

This one's my favorite, of course, because it's the one Noah made with his daddy.

 That's Sammy Spider as a menorah, with 8 legs and a lollipop body for a shamash.

 

Happy Hannukah!

Hannukah Sukkah Sale!

It's that time of year again! A couple of months after Sukkot, the sukkah stores tend to offer their unsold wares at a discount, so it's a great time to get what you should have bought in the first place. Last January I bought our bamboo mat roof.

This month, The Sukkah Project is offering 10 percent off everything from this past sukkah season from now until the end of Hannukah. Plus they're offering discounts on other beautiful Judaica pieces that are perfect for Hannukah gifts. Enter the code SALE at checkout.

Tzedakah for Sandy

Noah is proud that he gave away two gently used backpacks from summer camp to kids who need them.

I've been a bit preoccupied during the last two weeks. You know--superstorm, power outages, internet outages, the gas shortage, no school ... And on top of that I was trying to keep the public informed as the Westfield editor of The Alternative Press.

Now that things are starting to feel a little less apocalyptic, our family is thinking about how lucky we are in all this. Friends of ours are out of their house because a huge tree fell through the top floor. Entire communities have been washed away.

We decided it's time to break open the tzedakah boxes. Noah has one we've been putting coins into since he was born, and we have two more that we add to every Shabbat. On top of that, there's a big coin bank on top of Eric's dresser full of loose change that we've decided should be a tzedakah box, as well. All told, we probably have about $150 in coins that we're going to take to the bank with the kids to be sent somewhere worthwhile.

The question is: Where should we send it?

Are We Talking About “The Holidays” Already?

Yesterday I got a catalog in the mail that said, “It’s not too late to get holiday gifts for everyone on your list!” I hope not. It’s October.

 Then today I saw this post by an acquaintance on Facebook:

So, good for him. And at least he isn’t assuming Hannukah is the Jewish Christmas. But I don’t really want to be wished a Merry Christmas. It always makes me feel so awkward. After all of these years, I still never know how to respond. I usually just mumble, “You, too.”

Am I wrong? Should I just "get over it" like this person says? And what's the right response? I'd like to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment.