I love Hannukah. I love the candles. I love the latkes. I love the parties and the dreidles and the chocolate gelt. And, of course, I love the presents. I especially love shopping for presents. I love picking out eight perfect gifts for each of my kids and my husband, plus one for each of the other members of my family. Yet I know that gifts are not what this holiday is about.
I’d like to think that we’re not raising our kids to be materialistic, yet I’m surrounded by toys wherever I go in my house. We have stacks of DVDs, shelves full of books, tubs of crayons and markers and Play Dough. There are times when I can’t take a step without my foot landing on a Lego or tiny car.
Sometimes I look at all the stuff we’ve got and suddenly I remember watching a PBS reality show about 10 years ago called “Frontier House.” The people on that show volunteered to live like the settlers in the late 1800s for an entire summer.
There was an episode when one of the families made a wooden toy—I think it was a horse—for their son’s birthday. The narrator pointed out that settlers didn’t usually give presents on birthdays. Suddenly, this kid went from having maybe one toy to two, and it was a huge deal. (At the end of the series, we see him back home surrounded by all his modern stuff. How surreal that must have been for him!)
Remembering that episode makes me think of how much stuff we surround ourselves and our kids with and how that’s something new to this modern world. I suspect that it may not be so healthy. It’s certainly not traditional.
With that in mind, during the next month I want to look about at how Hannukah was traditionally celebrated. And I want to hear from you—how do you think we can put less emphasis on the material goods and more on what Hannukah should be about? Please share!
This was one of my favorite books growing up: http://www.amazon.com/POWER-LIGHT-EIGHT-STORIES-HANUKKAH/dp/B000LVMIJ4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1321474394&sr=8-1. Written by Isaac Bashevis Singer, it contains eight stories of Chanukah in Poland/Russia at the turn of the (previous!) century. I did a project in college on the different themes/values that emerge through these stories: family, ritual, light, community, story-telling, etc. Maybe telling a story each night could become a family ritual.
ReplyDeleteWhat if gifts for some/many of the nights are related to themes of the holiday: light, dreidels, etc.? What if frying latkes as a family becomes an occasion to provide food for those in need? Does a local Jewish food pantry/social service org. also have a list of gift requests/needs (warm jackets, for example) for needy children? Perhaps one night's gift could be your children giving to another child in this way.
By the way, I suspect that when I have children, I will have zero ideas. They are all bursting out of me now when I have time to think. :)
I like the idea of preparing for the holiday by thinking of others. Go through the toys with the kids to get rid of things they don't play with much or have outgrown and donate them.
ReplyDeleteYou also don't have to give all the presents at Chanukah. You can make only one night a present night and give a couple of gifts (if you see great deals save them for other times of the year, Purim or Pesach too). Or go with the theme idea. I like a PJ night, a book night, a toy night, a tzedakah night, a game night, a movie night, a family outing to a show or an Israeli or Jewish themed gift. There can also be an activity night, where there are no gifts but a family project or something.
Our kids have never received a present each night so they don't expect it. (We'll wait to see how society will intervene in this). They love lighting the candles. They love gelt. Last year we taught them the dreidel game. It's not a huge holiday but it can be about more than presents if that's what you emphasize.
I think doing it this way also makes it easier to keep the house from being overrun by toys.