Hannukah With Our Chavurah

We had a wonderful time at our first get-together with the chavurah* tonight. (It was the group's second get-together, but we missed the first one when Evelyn was wheezing badly. Noah actually went without us!)

After latkes, lasagne, candle lighting, story time and some yummy desserts, we let the kids wind down with the Hannukah episode of Shalom Sesame.

We can't wait to see everyone again!

*Never heard of a chavurah? Neither had we until a few years ago. I promise I'll tell you all about them in an upcoming post!

Latke Central

Lotsa latkes at our house tonight. I made four pounds of potatoes worth for a Haunnukah party with our newly formed chavurah tomorrow. We had to eat the first two batches. You know, just to be sure they were good.

We've been eating lots of Hannukah treats this week. First, I got the kids cupcakes at Bovella's Pastry Shoppe in Westfield.

The next night, we picked up fried Oreo's at the Cod Almighty Chippery.

If you've never had a fried Oreo, imagine a warm doughnut with a chocolate sandwich cookie inside. The Oreo creme gets all melty and the whole thing is covered in powdered sugar. One is plenty. I think Noah has a new favorite "bad" snack.

Combining Holidays?

The New Jersey Jewish News recently began sending out a weekly email called Responsive Reading: The Best Arguments of the Week. The paper finds the best provocative essays of the week and matches them with equally provocative responses. (If you’re not signed up for it, I highly recommend doing so.) This week, of course, the topic of combining Christmas and Hannukah came up, with this mom in favor of celebrating both and this mom against.

My opinion? “Chrismukkah” is insulting. There, I said it. At the risk of offending dear friends and family, I have to say that I find treating Christmas and Hannukah as though the two holidays are basically the same is offensive to both religions. If they didn’t both land at about the same time of year, we would never think of comparing the two. Christmas is about the birth Christ and the beginning of Christianity. At its core, Hannukah is about rejecting assimilation and keeping Jewish tradition pure. See the problem?

Recently, I was repulsed by an episode of “Glee” during which Jews Rachel and Puck sang about and generally celebrated Christmas at school, Rachel whining to her non-Jewish boyfriend that she expected several expensive gifts for Christmas. When another student replaces an unreligious recitation of “Frosty the Snowman” with the story of Jesus’s birth, the camera pans over the Jews listening and smiling along with the rest of them.

I’m sorry but, yes, he’s right—Christmas is all about Jesus. What I don’t understand is why the Jewish kids didn’t get up at that moment and say, “Hey, we don’t belong here.”

I can understand why interfaith parents justify celebrating both holidays. And I won’t pretend I know what’s right for every family, but having grown up celebrating both (at least to some degree), I think kids find it confusing.

I would love to hear your thoughts, whether you agree with me or not.

Meanwhile, tonight I’m happy that there are two holidays I can combine—Shabbat and Hannukah. Happy Shabbanukah.

Best Deal All Year!

Did you know that Hadassah, the Women's Zionist Organization of America, is offering a lifetime membership for only $100? And that the offer--which has been available all during its 100th year--ends on December 31? If you ask me, it's the perfect (non-material) Hannukah gift for a daughter, niece or even a grown woman. Or yourself, for that matter.

Happy Hannukah!

Eight Ways to Celebrate Hannukah--Without the Presents

Leah Doberne-Schor

My good friend Rabbi Leah Doberne-Schor tells this story:

“One of my friends is a minister. He tells me that one of the hardest times of the year for him is Christmas, because every year he has members of his congregation who feel that they must provide the perfect holiday for their family. Some of them go into debt in order to celebrate the holiday season the way society has told them to. Although he tells them that this is not what Christmas is supposed to be about at all, he often feels that he is swimming upstream.

“Truth is, it’s not just Christians who struggle with materialism this time of year. It’s all of us. We all want to treat our kids, to give them something special. But we all wonder – how much is too much? How can we celebrate Hannukah with our kids without teaching them that it’s all about what we give and what we get; what we want and how much we have?”

Of course we know that the message of Hannukah is not “buy more stuff,” but most of us have inherited the American tradition of gift-giving for a winter holiday—for many Jews, this has become eight gifts for eight nights. Every December, whipped into a frenzy by the constant bombardment of television commercials, mailings, e-mails and now Groupons, we feel the need to shop like mad to make our families happy. But are we ultimately making our kids happy, or teaching them to want more? Once the novelty of all these gifts wears off, will they still feel satisfaction, or will the feel the emptiness that leads so many to desire more and more without ever feeling whole?

Now that we both have young children, Leah and I are struggling with this idea ourselves. How can we make Hannukah special and fun without piling on the presents? While we can’t pretend to know all the answers, we thought it might be fun to work together to share eight ways to celebrate—one for each night.*

1. Fry Something New. The story of Hannukah centers around oil—that’s why Ashkenazic Jews eat latkes and why Jews in Israel eat sufganiyot (jelly donuts). Why not try some new fried treats? Fried chicken, fried mushrooms, fried Twinkies—it’s a special occasion, so go for it. Fish and chips places often offer fried Oreos and fried candy bars. To really get into it, pull out your own deep fryer or skillet make something crispy together.

2. Party! Celebrate the festival of lights with family, friends and community. Host a party or just attend one—your local synagogue or JCC is likely having a Hannukah celebration anyone can attend. Especially this year, when Hannukah falls during winter break, lots of communities are having special family-oriented celebrations.

3. Get Crafty. Get out the stampers and glitter pens and create cards to send to family and friends. Make your own (working or non-working) menorahs from found objects. (At Tree of Life in Columbia, SC, where Leah is a member, they use bolts glued to bricks.) Really make a dreidel out of clay, and when it’s dry and ready … well, you know what to do.

4. Gamble … or Don’t. Play a traditional game of spin the dreidel, or make up your own game. Games to try: See if you can get all the dreidels spinning at once; see who can spin a dreidel the longest; can you spin one upside down?; from how high can you drop a dreidel and have it spin?

5. Visit the Library. Gather Hannukah books and movies, then enjoy them together at home. One to look for: “Dinosaur on Hanukkah” by Diane Levin Rauchwerger and Jason Wolff. You can also look to PJ Library for suggestions.

6. Give Some Gelt. Put some coins in the tzedakah box each night of the holiday, then decide together where the money should go. You can use the tzedakah box you use all year, or make a special one just for Hannukah.

7. Reconnect with a Relative. Arrange a phone call with an older relative you don’t talk to often—a great aunt, an uncle or a cousin, for example. Ask her how she remembers celebrating Hannukah as a child, then try some of those traditions yourselves.

8. Create a Special Tradition. Each family is different, so why not create a tradition that is unique to yours? For you, it may be knitting night, or board games, or baking cookies. You may all want to take out your musical instruments and play together. The point is, spend time together doing something you love.

Does your family have a special Hannukah tradition? Are you starting a new one this year? Take a picture and share it here!

*Tradition tells us that the lights of the Hannukah menorah are meant for pure enjoyment. In other words, we’re not supposed to do any work by them. We add a ninth candle (or, in some communities, an extra lamp in the room) so that, should we for some reason do work during the time the candles are burning, we can say we’re doing so by the light of the shamash, and not the festival candles. The point is, while the candles are burning, it’s time to celebrate and have fun together!

Explaining the "S" Word to Kids

I have a confession to make. When I was a kid, I believed in Santa. He came to my house each Christmas Eve and left a gift for each of us, plus a bunch of little things in our stockings. We even made him cookies and left out a bowl of water and some celery for his reindeer.

This was all a lot of fun. But, in hindsight, it was also very confusing, because my family was Jewish and we didn’t celebrate Christmas. As I got older the whole thing began to feel too hypocritical, so when I was a teenager I asked my parents to quit pretending they were Santa to me and my younger brothers. They saw my point, I guess, and that was then end of Santa for me.

Now my four-year-old is starting to ask questions. “Who’s that man in the red outfit? Why are those kids in line?” I’m not sure what to tell him.

For advice, I turned to Michelle Shapiro Abraham, the director of education at Temple Sholom, wife of our rabbi (Joel Abraham), author of many wonderful Jewish books for children and mom of two great kids. Here’s the story she shared:

“My 12-year-old daughter spent today, a crisp and sunny Shabbat afternoon in early December, decorating her best friend’s Christmas tree. It has been a tradition ever since the girls became friends in 2nd grade. Her friend helps us build and decorate the sukkah and spends at least one night of Hanukkah lighting candles at our place. I wonder, in hindsight, if it was my daughter who told her best friend way back in 2nd grade that there is no Santa Claus ... Hmm. I'm going
to need to ask her about that.

“Like all Jewish parents who don't have the jolly red guy showing up at their house on Christmas morning, we had to explain to our kids that Santa's absence had nothing to do with them being naughty or nice. I asked my daughter this evening (after she told me about decking the
halls at her friend's house) if she remembers what we told her about Santa. ‘Sure,’ she said, ‘you told us “There is no such thing as Santa. BUT don't you dare tell your friends! That is for their parents to tell them!’”

“I'm not sure if my kids ever broke that rule—it is difficult to see Santa all over the place and not flaunt the fact that you know he is not real. However, Santa provides us a chance to say as Jewish parents that ‘you may not believe what your friends do and that is ok. You can be nice—even if you disagree.’

“Joel Grishaver, a Jewish author and publisher tells the story of a friend of his who was speaking with her daughter during her first year of college. Her daughter was telling her about the partying the kids in her dorm were doing. The mom, now quite curious, asked her daughter why she wasn't doing that stuff too. Her daughter answered simply ‘Christmas.’ Now truly confused, the mother asked her to explain. ‘Everyone around us believed in Santa and was celebrating Christmas.You told me that we were different—that we had Shabbat, and the Torah, and lots of great holidays. The way you did it made being different sound amazing and special. So—I learned from you that I didn't need to be like everyone else. I could hang out with them— but I didn't always need to do what they were doing.’

“This story always sounded a bit exaggerated to me, but I like it anyway. I like thinking that telling my kids that their friends believe in Santa and get presents on Christmas and that they don't will help build their character. My husband and I try and fill their lives with all of the great things Judaism has to offer, so they don't feel something is missing by not having Santa. As to telling them about the guy in the red suit—all I can do is encourage them not to ruin the fun for their friends (unless they are in college and their friends need someone to ruin their fun ... Then they should speak right up!).”

The Case Against Frozen Latkes

I’ve never had a frozen latke I liked. Until I was in my 20s and living in New York, I didn’t even know these things existed. I’m not sure if that’s because they weren’t available in Kansas when I was a kid or if it’s because my mom simply insisted on making her own.

There’s nothing like a fresh, crisp, oniony potato latke made from scratch—I dare you to prove otherwise. But more important than that is the memory of making them. I remember watching my mom shred the potatoes in her Cuisinart (a sacrilege I continue in my own kitchen), plopping them by the handful into the salted water so that they wouldn’t turn pink while she grated more. I remember the smell of hot oil and frying onions and how we couldn’t wait until she finished making the second batch to devour the first.

If you’ve never made your own potato latkes, give it a shot this year. I promise you, anyone can do it. And, yes, it takes a little time. The oil gets a bit messy. Maybe it’s that extra trouble that makes it them so special. And the taste, of course.

Here’s the recipe I teach students in my private cooking classes:

Basic Potato Latkes

1 lb. Russet baking potatoes
Half of a small onion
1 egg, beaten
4 tsp. flour
kosher salt
1/8 tsp. pepper
Canola oil
Sour cream or applesauce

Peel potatoes. Grate, placing the grated potatoes in a large bowl of salted water as you go. Drain well. Place potatoes in a clean kitchen towel. Twist and squeeze out as much water as possible.

Place the potatoes in a dry bowl. Finely chop the onion. (I use my food processor for this, too.) Stir onion, egg, flour, ¼ tsp. salt and pepper into potatoes.

In pan over medium-high heat, heat about ¼ inch oil until shimmering. With a serving spoon or measuring cup, scoop potato mixture up from bottom of bowl and place in oil. Pat each one down with a spatula. Fry, turning once, until golden. Transfer to metal rack over a paper towel and let stand 1 minute. Sprinkle with salt. Serve with sour cream or applesauce.

*Hints:

To keep latkes warm while you cook, place them on a baking sheet and keep in a 200 degree oven until you’re ready to serve them.

Want to make these ahead of time? Cook them, cool them and place them in the fridge for up to a day. When you’re ready to serve them, place in a single layer on a baking sheet and put them in a 400 degree oven until hot, about 10 minutes.

Make yours different! You can add grated cheese, chopped chives, grated zuchinni or any number of tasty ingredients to your latkes to make them your own. For a special appetizer, make mini latkes and top them with a dollop of sour cream and a spoonful of salmon caviar.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My little chef.

We Jews have a prayer of thanks for everything. Perhaps that's why we find it so easy to embrace Thanksgiving. Or maybe it's because we love rituals that involve food. Or because we love to eat.

Does your family have a Jewish Thanksgiving tradition? Tell us about it! And have a wonderful holiday, whether your turkey is kosher, non-kosher or sculpted out of tofu.

How Do We "De-Materialize" Hannukah?

I love Hannukah. I love the candles. I love the latkes. I love the parties and the dreidles and the chocolate gelt.  And, of course, I love the presents. I especially love shopping for presents. I love picking out eight perfect gifts for each of my kids and my husband, plus one for each of the other members of my family. Yet I know that gifts are not what this holiday is about.

I’d like to think that we’re not raising our kids to be materialistic, yet I’m surrounded by toys wherever I go in my house. We have stacks of DVDs, shelves full of books, tubs of crayons and markers and Play Dough. There are times when I can’t take a step without my foot landing on a Lego or tiny car.

Sometimes I look at all the stuff we’ve got and suddenly I remember watching a PBS reality show about 10 years ago called “Frontier House.”  The people on that show volunteered to live like the settlers in the late 1800s for an entire summer.

There was an episode when one of the families made a wooden toy—I think it was a horse—for their son’s birthday. The narrator pointed out that settlers didn’t usually give presents on birthdays. Suddenly, this kid went from having maybe one toy to two, and it was a huge deal. (At the end of the series, we see him back home surrounded by all his modern stuff. How surreal that must have been for him!)

Remembering that episode makes me think of how much stuff we surround ourselves and our kids with and how that’s something new to this modern world. I suspect that it may not be so healthy. It’s certainly not traditional.

With that in mind, during the next month I want to look about at how Hannukah was traditionally celebrated. And I want to hear from you—how do you think we can put less emphasis on the material goods and more on what Hannukah should be about? Please share!

Lessons Learned

The sukkah is dismantled and neatly stored in the garage.The decorations are in the attic. Noah's asking about Hannukah presents already! But before I leave Sukkot behind, here are a few things I discovered:

1.  It’s never a bad time to shop for Sukkot. Just this morning a mom told me that she’s buying her family’s sukkah right now for next year. Turns out they’re all on sale, of course! This is also a great time to buy all the “Halloween” decorations—fake pumpkins, orange lights, etc.—that the stores are trying to get rid of. Personally, I’m waiting for the day after Christmas, when I plan to buy tons of lights to string up in my sukkah next fall.

2. Next year I’m buying the bamboo mat roof. It won’t get yucky in the rain and I won’t have to beg for branches from my neighbor’s tree removal company. Which leads me to …

3. S’chach is everywhere when you don’t need it.

4. Wet hay is yucky.

5. My husband is a great sport. I dragged him into this project, and he actually thanked me! Turns out he had a fantastic time building the sukkah and bonding with Noah, and we all enjoyed entertaining friends and family.

6. There’s a sukkah for every budget and every ability. I saw one sukkah made from two pieces of lattice tacked to the side of a barn. I saw another with stained glass windows. I saw a sukkah that popped up like my kid’s toy tent and others that were great works of art.

7. Don’t eat your etrog. L

8. Think all that rain and wind was bad? At least it didn’t snow!

Noah Saves The Day: A Jewish Halloween Story

How do you teach a four-year-old about tzedakah? This year, Halloween provided us with an excellent opportunity. Regardless of whether or not you think Jews should celebrate Halloween (we do, because it’s fun and I like candy), our congregation has found a unique way to introduce Jewish values to the secular holiday.

Super kid!

Each year, Temple Sholom does something called “Project Boo!” for the families of HomeFirst Interfaith Housing & Family Services in Plainfield. This year, the Fanwood Presbyterian Church is partnering with us. Together, the congregations are throwing a Halloween party, complete with dinner, for families who don’t often get to celebrate special occasions because they are simply struggling to get by.

My family’s job (like several other families and individuals who volunteered) was to find the perfect costume for a particular little boy. So Noah and I—armed with a Living Social voucher—headed to the Costume Corner in Westfield on his most recent day off from school.

It just so happens that this child wanted the same superhero costume that Noah wanted. (At least that day. Noah’s changed his mind a few times since then.) And that gave me an idea.

“What are we doing, Mama?” my son asked.

“It’s called a tzedakah project,” I told him. “There’s a little boy who doesn’t have a Halloween costume and we’re going to get him one. We’re going to save the day.”

Noah’s face lit up. “Like superheroes? Yea!”

Together we combed through the racks and came up with a great costume. It turned out to be the perfect tzedakah lesson—Noah may not be old enough to understand money, but he understands how to do something good.

“Mom, I like to save the day,” he said. And there will be plenty more opportunities.

4 Ways to Use Your Etrog

One result of sending your kid to a Jewish preschool is that you become much more aware of Jewish holidays that most Reform Jews tend to ignore. In other words, Noah has the day off for Simchat Torah. So I enlisted his help for today’s blog.

Here are four ways to use your etrog once Sukkot is over.*

 I was going to have Noah make this while I wrote ,
but it turns out that etrog skins are really tough.
Instead, he handed me cloves and I shoved them in.
My hands smell really nice now. 

1. Shove cloves into it to preserve it and create a wonderfully scented spice box for Havdalah.

2. Make marmalade with this recipe from Food.com.**

3. Or you can soak it in vodka for a special liquer.**

4. Get pregnant. According my friend Rabbi Leah Doberne-Schor, etrogs are supposed to have spiritual properties that help with fertility when eaten. So, ladies, squeeze a little of the juice over your salad or into your water glass and see what happens!**

*Back when I was an associate food editor for Woman’s World magazine, I used to write a weekly column like this where I would tell readers the gazillions of ways they could use ordinary household items.  I now know countless ways to use vinegar, Cool Whip, dryer lint—you name it. If you’ve got extra of something hanging around, just ask me and I’ll tell you how to turn it into fabric softener or shaving cream or stuffing for your kid’s Halloween costume.


**So now I've been informed that you can only eat it if it's organic. See Leslie's comment. Well, that stinks.

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

I've decided that the answer is "stay." Sukkot ends tonight. When I began writing this blog, I wasn’t sure if it should be permanent or temporary, like our sukkah. It turns out that blogging about my family’s Jewish adventures is pretty fun, so I’m going to keep at it.

I’ve fixed the comment section so that you don’t have to sign up to comment, so I hope that makes it easier for you to join us by sharing your experiences and ideas, too. For starters, help me by answering this question: Should I keep the title or change it?

Thanks for reading!

(Not Quite) Sleeping in the Sukkah

For a four-year-old, the best time to be in a sukkah is at night. I mean, just look at these lights!

Noah's been dying to sleep in the sukkah, so the other night we took out the sleeping bag. This was taken a few minutes before it began to rain:

Oh, well. Maybe next year he'll get to sleep in there for more than five minutes.

Food For Thought

What does Sukkot tell us about feeding America's poorest children? Plenty, according to this essay at RJ.org. I'd actually like to take it a step further and say that we as Jews must actualize our responsibility to help the world's poorest people. While we have a responsibility to our neighbors in need, we can't forget that even our most desperate citizens at least have access to clean water. So while we're fighting for adequate food and health care here, let's see what we can elsewhere, too. Jewish or not, all people are God's children.


There are lots of easy ways to give, even if you feel that your budget is tight. For example, visit the World Food Programme to find out how you can spend a little money and help someone else a lot. There's no greater mitzvah than saving a life.

Sunday Sukkah Hop

Welcome to today's virtual sukkah hop! Our first stop is Leslie and Dov's in Fanwood, NJ:

I think it seats, like, 100. Well, okay, not 100. But quite a few!


Not so far away, also in Fanwood, we move along to Dana and Mitch's sukkah:

Simple and very fun! 


Speaking of fun, here's Adrienne's sukkah, in Cranford, NJ:

Lego my lulav!

Last, but not least, is a sukkah I actually got to visit, Rabbi Joel and Michelle Abraham's:

And there's my family eating cookies inside. You'll notice it's from a kit similar to ours. We both got ours from The Sukkah Project. They used pine branches on top, which smell much nicer than whatever I've got and apparently stay up better in the wind.

That's it for today! Hope you get a chance for your own sukkah hop. Don't forget--you can visit sukkahs at local synagogues, JCCs, college campuses and just about anywhere else you find Jews. Don't be afraid to ask! It's as much a mitzvah to invite people into the sukkah as it is to "live" in one.

Disaster Strikes!

First thunderstorms, now this! The wind blew all these branches off this morning. And notice how the leaves have already turned brown? The rain made them them icky and a bit smelly. Next year I'm getting the bamboo mat. 


During the times when the weather is nice, we're making the most of our sukkah. Yesterday we had some of Noah's friends over for lunch.

Today we had breakfast in the sukkah. Even our dog Lacey joined in!

Come back tomorrow for a vitual sukkah hop!

A Day of Firsts

Noah and I had our first meal in the sukkah today when it stopped drizzling around lunch time. Grilled cheese and apple slices. He was thrilled. We even had time to put up the lights and  some beads.

Dessert in the sukkah. (Don't worry--the candles are fake.)

Our first guests arrived this afternoon--Noah and Evelyn's cousins Elissa and Jacob and my sister-in-law Elana, followed by Eric's brother Adam. The kids had a blast sitting in the sukkah stringing beads and making posters to decorate. Elissa brought an adorable decoration with paper fruit that she made at daycare. It rained during the kids' dinner time, but then we got to eat dessert out there. The kids even shook the lulav and etrog for the first time.


Who would have guessed that having a sukkah would be so much fun? By the way, etrogs smell amazing. Ours is in our dining room and every time I walk by it's like I'm getting a whiff of the world's best air freshener.

Shake Shake Shake

Our first dinner in the sukkah has been postponed due to rain. It wouldn't be Sukkot without it! Instead, I bring you this lovely poster explaining how to shake your lulav. 


Perhaps I shall shake mine in the morning. (Thanks to Rabbi Abraham for telling me about Nice Jewish Artist!)

If Martha Stewart Was Jewish ...

I’m willing to bet this would be her favorite holiday. So many ways to design a sukkah and make it beautiful! So many craft projects … that I’ll never do. Because, while I’m an awesome cook (ask my husband), I am no Martha.

Good thing there are plenty of easy ways to make a sukkah pretty. I decided to go with mostly fake pumpkins, gourds and flowers because a. they won’t attract insects and pests, b. they won’t get yucky in the rain and c. they’re actually better for the environment (and, okay, cheaper) because I can use them over and over for years.

The hay bales are cute, and they’re a great place for kids to sit.

My friend Adrienne gave me the idea for the beads. She and her kids had a great time stringing beads for their sukkah, so I went and bought an assortment for Noah and myself. In the center here is the first one he made. We’ve got lots more to hang up!

This poster is more than decorative. It was given to me by Rabbi Abraham from Temple Sholom and it’s used in the Jewish tradition of ushpizin—inviting Jewish ancestors into the sukkah. At first the idea of inviting dead people over for a meal sounded more like Halloween than Jewish tradition, but this isn’t ghoulish. It’s more about making memory a part of our present.

Traditionally, the images displayed in sukkahs were of Biblical figures such as Issaac, Jacob, Abraham, Joseph—you know, men. These days, progressive Jews also include women. This poster represents several influential Jewish women, including Sarah and Miriam.

All we need now to get started is our table and chairs. We haven’t put them in yet because it’s raining. Let’s hope that stops soon.

Chag Sameach.

Swimming in the Sukkah

The temperature hit 85 degrees today, so Noah decided we needed to have a pool party in our sukkah.

It's Up!

Whew. We’re all sweaty and dirty and pretty proud of ourselves. It’s about 80 degrees out, of all things. Great sukkah-building weather.

Eric and Noah started putting the framing for the walls together just before 9:30.

When Evelyn went down for her nap, I started cutting up the big branches for s’chach.

Noah helped put up the frame. He’s quite the construction worker!

After Eric put up the lattice walls, we handed the branches to him for the roof.

Dah-dah!

Coming up next, decorating! Thanks to Cyndy Lynn-Woller for telling me about Creative Jewish Mom. I'm not exactly the craftiest mommy, but these are pretty inspiring. 

The Lulav Arrives

First of all, thanks to the New Jersey Jewish News for this article. Noah was so excited to see his picture on the front page!


My lulav and etrog arrived at the temple office today. Even though it's probably the busiest day of the year there, Barbara took the time to call me so I could come get them right away. They actually arrived yesterday, but the etrogs were so puny that they could pass for lemons, and one of them was green, so Rabbi Abraham had them send new ones to arrive asap. The new etrog is gigantic! Guess they took him seriously.


The lulav came in pieces. My good friend Rabbi Leah Doberne-Schor told me yesterday that when I got it I should refrigerate the myrtle and willow parts when not in use, so they're sitting on top of some leftover pizza. The etrog is in its box on my buffet table. Leah said I could refrigerate it, but then it won't smell as nice. 


Tonight is Erev Yom Kippur, so I hope everyone has a meaningful holiday and a good fast. By tomorrow night, that etrog is going to look pretty tasty. (Stay tuned after Sukkot for ways to serve a leftover etrog!)

We Got S'chach!

No, it’s not a 90s music genre. It’s the roofing material for a sukkah, and it’s arguably the most important part. A sukkah can have as few as 2 ½ walls and anything can cover those walls—sometimes they aren’t even covered at all. The whole point of the sukkah is to hold up the s’chach, which must be made of organic material, provide more shade than sun, yet still let the people inside see the sky.

So I was just a tiny bit freaked out today when Barbara e-mailed me to say that the town of Fanwood didn’t drop off as many pine branches at the temple as they usually do and there wasn’t enough to fully cover my sukkah as well as the temple’s. Fortunately, about half an hour later I heard saws outside my window. A crew was at my neighbor’s house doing some major tree trimming. Score! With a few funny looks but plenty of smiles, the helpful guys doing the yard work passed several large leafy branches over the fence. All set! That couldn’t have been any easier.

When I finished piling these up, I realized I’d better call the lawn guys before they come over to mow and wonder what strange things we’re doing out here.

Lumber Party!

Noah's first non-Lego construction project with Eric and Grandpa Stu!

It turns out that Lowes will deliver lumber the same day that you order it. So we’re all set! Although we’re not putting up our sukkah until October 9 (the day after Yom Kippur, which happens to be a Sunday), Eric decided to get a head start by putting all the brackets in the wood this afternoon. (In case you’re curious, the walls are the cheapest lattice we could get, but we splurged a few extra cents for pressure-treated lumber for all of the beams except the roof slats.)

The Sukkah Project claims its kits are Klutz-proof, but we discovered a couple of issues that could trip a klutz like myself up. So Eric, ever the engineer, wrote up this little report for the next folks who put one together:

Deviations and issues from Sukkah Plan:

1. We were told to order seven 2” X 4” X 93” studs. We could only get  2” x 4” x 8 ft studs that needed to be cut down to 2” x 4” x 93”.

2. The 2” x 4” x 93” studs did not easily fit the brackets sent with the Sukkah kit.  One of the eight brackets required us to shave down one of the studs about 1/32” to fit the bracket.  Three other brackets needed to be gently forced on with a hammer (Used a block of wood cut from the stud above between the hammer and the bracket to ensure no damage to the bracket).  It should be noted that these issues were related to the studs and not the brackets.  

  

Thanks, hon! 

What is That Thing? Explaining Sukkot to Non-Jews.

A lot of my non-Jewish friends have noticed that I’m writing this blog, and they all ask me the same thing: “What the heck is a sukkah?” This post is for you. (Jews—feel free to pass this on to your sukkah-curious friends.)

Think back to Bible school, if you attended one. Does the Feast of Tabernacles sound familiar to you? This is it! It’s not just something ancient Hebrews celebrated. We still do it. Tabernacle is a long (and pretty silly, if you ask me) word, so instead we use the Hebrew word sukkah, or its plural, sukkot.

The sukkahs (tabernacles) themselves are temporary huts we build for the week-long harvest festival of Sukkot, which is held each fall just after the High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It starts on a different day each year because the Jewish calendar is based on cycles of the moon, not the sun.

All around the world for thousands of years Jews have built these huts in their fields, in their yards, on the balconies of their apartments, on their college campuses and anywhere else they happened to live or eat. If you travel to Israel or through an Orthodox neighborhood during Sukkot, you’re going to see them in people’s yards and over the outdoor seating section of restaurants. It’s a mitzvah (good deed, literally a commandment) to eat in the sukkah and live in it as much as possible during Sukkot.

Many Jews practice Sukkot at their synagogues by helping to build the congregation’s sukkah, decorating it and enjoying a picnic there. Youth groups often hold “pizza in the hut” events.  Lately, many of us are discovering the joys of building and decorating our own sukkahs and inviting friends and family to come over to eat in them.

If you’re invited to someone’s sukkah, it’s customary to bring something to help decorate, especially seasonal fruits and vegetables. Pumpkins and gourds are a great choice. (Although I’ve been warned that the squirrels will eat the pumpkins when you’re not looking.) Some hosts ask their guests to bring canned goods to be donated to a food pantry for a different kind of harvest. Sukkahs can also be decorated with posters, banners, paper chains, fairy lights (okay, Christmas lights) and whatever else you can think of.

Think all of this sounds a little crazy? Well, look who’s cutting down trees to stick in their living rooms. 

It's Here!

Look what was waiting on the doorstep two days after I ordered it! How did they fit our whole sukkah in that tiny box? Oh yeah, we still have to buy the lumber.

Meanwhile, Rabbi Abraham suggested some sukkah-building attire by Jewion Label. I especially like this one. They have kids’ sizes, too! 

Sukkah Shopping on a Sunday

We were pretty much set on a wooden sukkah kit from The Sukkah Project, but when my friend Caren told me that the Lubavich Judaica shop in West Orange had an actual sukkah shop set up out back, I just had to check that out first. I must say, I was impressed with the wood panel sukkahs.

Eric and the kids in front of the fanciest sukkah I've ever seen.



This is not your mother's sukkah. I think the stained glass windows are a nice touch. You order by the panel and, depending on the size you want, you’d probably shell out one or two thousand dollars for one of these. It even has a door that locks! I later joked with Rabbi Abraham that we could just buy a bunch of these and put together Temple Sholom’s new building for a fraction of the cost!

Yaacov, who showed us the two types of sukkahs they had set up (the wood panel and a fancy canvas sukkah I’d also love to live in) told us how, as a kid in Michigan, he used to go on a sukkah hop with his friends all over the neighborhood, visiting sukkahs and stuffing themselves with the candy offered in each one and steering clear of the occasional bowl of potato salad. The experience was much like Halloween. “They were less health-conscious back then,” he laughed.

These days,  he says, he gets a lot of young families like ours shopping for a sukkah for the first time.

Alas, their beautiful sukkahs there were out of our price range, so this morning while the kids were asleep I finally went online and ordered The Sukkah Project's kit. It may be more work and it won’t be as fancy, but I think we’ll like our wooden sukkah just fine.

Deals!

Thanks to everyone for sharing the great deals they found for their sukkahs! Today, my wonderful friend Jennifer told me about Jdeal.com. Who knew? Today's deal is a lulav and etrog plus a lulav holder for $35! Normally you'd pay $60 for just the lulav and etrog.

Thanks also to Caroline for telling me about a 5% discount for anything at The Sukkah Project from a fantastic blog called Kosher on A Budget.

The best deal of all? Last night during his Sukkot class Rabbi Abraham told me how to get sukkah roofing material for free. Every year the temple asks the town for some trimmings and they drop off lovely pine branches at the office for nothing! I asked my friend Barbara, Temple Sholom's office manager, if she could ask them for extra branches for me. Total savings: about $100, if I had paid for a bamboo mat roof.

Does Size Really Matter?

One month to go and we still can’t decide on a sukkah. But I think we’ve agreed that it doesn’t have to be that big, because even if you have a ton of people over (which we won’t do this year, anyway), you don’t have to fit them all in there at once. Smaller also means easier to put up and, let’s face it, smaller is cheaper.

Meanwhile, my four-year-old son received a free copy of Sholom Sesame’s “Monsters in the Sukkah” on DVD today from the PJ Library. How perfect! He got to see what I’ve been talking about and I think he’s starting to get excited about building and decorating a sukkah. It really reminded me of the biggest motivation I have to do this—creating wonderful Jewish memories for my kids.

Back To Nature (But Indoor Plumbing is Still Close By!)

I love camping, which is one of the reasons Sukkot always appealed to me as a kid. It turns out, as I learned at Rabbi Abraham's Sukkot class tonight, that this holiday was one of the original “back-to-nature” events. It came about as a harvest festival (farmers might have lived in temporary shacks in their fields during the harvest so they didn’t have to waste time going back-and-forth). When Jews were exiled from Israel and began to lose their agrarian roots, this became a reminder of those times, as well as how the Jews lived in the desert after the Exodus from Egypt—another instance of temporary dwellings built out in nature.

I also found out that “living” in a sukkah means different things to different people. I was always taught that you should eat a meal in one and, if possible, sleep in one at least once during the week-long holiday. It turns out that Orthodox Jews eat every single meal during Sukkot in a sukkah (which explains why all of the Israeli restaurants build them over their outdoor seating).

It also turns out that we pray for rain on the last day of Sukkot, as this is the end of the dry season and the beginning of the rainy season (and planting time) in Israel. I think we’ve got that covered here in New Jersey, thank you very much Irene, but I’d be happy to pray for some to fall in Texas. (I can hear the politicians now: “Nah, don’t worry about it. I heard the Jews are gonna pray real hard next month, so they’ve got it covered.”)

Shake Your Lulav for Less

Lulav and Etrog available from The Sukkah Project

If we’re going to build a sukkah, we’re going to need a lulav and etrog, the ritual objects used each Sukkot. You’re supposed to hold them together and shake them in every direction, or something like that. I plan to find out at the Sukkot class tomorrow night. Anyway, they’re important.

Wherever I order these from, it’s going to be about $60, or $30 each. (No point in getting one without the other.) I quickly discovered that when the temple orders them, because it’s a religious institution there’s no tax.  I ordered mine through Temple Sholom, so at least I can cross that off my list.

Eric spent an hour looking at sukkahs online last night and we’re no closer to figuring out what kind we’re going to build. Wood’s cheap, but it warps over the years. PVC is expensive, and I don’t love the way it looks. Pretty soon we’re going to have to just order something or else dedicate a weekend to designing it.

Got a suggestion? Please share!

Time To Seek Professional Help

I realize that I have no idea what I’m getting into, so I’m really glad that Rabbi Abraham is teaching a 3-class series on Sukkot starting this Thursday, Sept. 8. We’re going explore the harvest festival’s origins, how it’s celebrated around the world and—thank goodness—how to build your own sukkah. I plan to ask lots of questions. If you live in the Scotch Plains/Fanwood area, come join us at 7:30! It’s free. (Temple Sholom is located in the Fanwood Presbyterian Church at the corner of Martine and LaGrande Avenues in Fanwood, NJ. Class will be held in the Colville room.)

Meanwhile, Eric is now on the fence about designing his own sukkah, because he just realized how much work it is going to be to figure out exactly what he needs and what size everything should be, not to mention what we’ll cover the whole thing with. We’d better figure it out soon. The first night of Sukkot is October 12.

What Was I Thinking?

Did I mention that my husband is a biomedical engineer? “Handy” doesn’t begin to describe him. All this time I’ve been thinking we’d get a sukkah kit, maybe from The Sukkah Project, which lets you order the kit but get most of the materials locally to save on shipping. One look at the pricing and Eric said, “Oh, they must be making a fortune. I can do this a lot cheaper.”

Our friends Dov and Leslie (she’s the one who talked me into this, I might add) made a wood sukkah a couple of years ago and now the wood is warped, so Eric wants to use PVC, which is pretty expensive if you buy it as a kit. But if you design it yourself and have the materials delivered by Lowes?  A fraction of the price!

He’d design the whole thing tonight, except I remind him that we don’t know all the rules. What are the rules, anyway? You have to be able to see through the roof. Don’t you have to build it on a specific day and take it down on another specific day? Will he need to take a day off of work to do this? How much can we do ahead of time?

His eyes gleam. Now I've done it. I've given him a project.

So the type of sukkah he has in mind now might look a little like this one from The Sukkah Project:

Kind of your basic Tinker Toys design.

To figure out the rules of design, I looked up an article I remember reading in the New Jersey Jewish News last Sukkot and I came across a contest held last year called Sukkah City NYC 2010. Check these out!

Wow! Alas, Eric is much more of a practical engineer than an artist. And if it were up to me, the whole thing would probably collapse when the wind blew, so it’s definitely up to him.

As for the rules, Sukkah City has this to say: "The basic contraints seem simple: the structure must be temporary, have at least two and a half walls, be big enough to contain a table, and have a roof made of shade-providing organic materials through which one can see the stars.Yet a deep dialogue of historical texts intricately refines and interprets these constraints--arguing, for example, for a 27x27x38-inch minimum volume; for a maximum height of 30 feet ... even, in one famous instance, whether it is kosher to adaptively reuse a recently deceased elepahnt as a wall. (It is.)"

Ew.