This Shabbat, Let's Share Torah with Our Kids

As a blogger and a mom, I’m always looking for more ways to incorporate Judaism into our lives. So when my good friend Rabbi Leah Doberne-Schor asked me if she should share on my blog how she’s teaching her five-year-old about the weekly Torah portion each Shabbat, of course I said “yes.” Here’s what she wrote:

Recently, my family has begun introducing a short conversation about the Torah portion of the week as part of our Shabbat dinner discussion. I like to think of the portion (parasha in Hebrew) as a shared conversation among the Jewish community—we all read the same section at the same time (beginning with the start of Genesis during the holiday of Simchat Torah in the fall and finishing at the end of Deuteronomy the next year). 

Sharing Torah with my family has been an excuse for me to slow down and pay attention when I read the portion and to really think about how it relates to my life and to my family. I admit it’s not always easy, and some of our conversations are more successful than others. But I plug on because I believe that, in the long run, it will help us all learn and live and connect with our ongoing Jewish conversation about how to live a life of meaning and blessing.

While each parasha often contains many different stories, rules and/or ideas within it, I usually find it easiest to focus on one or two aspects of the portion. Because we'll come back to it the next year, we can discuss a different element of the parasha then.

This week the parasha is called Yitro, and it contains within it the Ten Commandments. (You can read them in Exodus 20:1-14.)

Questions I’m thinking about:

1. What are the rules we have at home? At school? What would happen if we didn’t have rules? If you could make rules, what would you include?

2. This week, God shared with the Jewish people 10 Rules called the 10 Commandments. Here is my version of child-friendly ones:

- I the Eternal am your God
- Do not have any other gods and do not make any pictures (images) of God
- Be respectful when you talk about God
- Celebrate Shabbat
- Respect your parents
- Do not hurt people (the original commandment: do not murder)
- Married people should respect each other (the original commandment: do not commit adultery)
- Do not take things that are not yours
- Do not tell lies about other people
- Be happy with what you have (don’t be jealous of the things other people have)

3. Choose one or two to talk about. Maybe it’s about why Shabbat has become important to your family. Or maybe it’s an opportunity to talk about using our kind words. Or learning to be happy with what you have. Whatever the case, I think it’s important to never put a kid on the spot. Don’t be afraid to share about your experiences in these areas; or use a hypothetical (what would happen if…) as a way to get into the conversation. 

4. Also, leave room for your child to ask his or her own questions! Consider asking your child if there is a rule that should be added to the list… and what it would be!

5. A gem for parents: Right after the Ten Commandments, God continues to share rules with the Israelites. God says “you shall not make any gods of silver, nor shall you make for yourselves any gods of gold” (Ex. 20:20). The Israelites had just been told to not make any idols and to not be jealous of what others have (what I interpreted for the kids as “be happy with what you have.”) Why do they need an additional reminder?

It’s really hard for us to be satisfied with what we have. In particular, so many of us would like to have just a little bit more–whether to send the kids to summer camp or take a vacation or fix up the home or whatever the case. We say to ourselves that our happiness depends, in some measure, on that additional wealth. But when we do this, do we not verge on making an idol out of money (aka modern day “gold” and “silver”)? Yes, material wealth can make life easier, but it is never the end; rather, it is a means that can be put to wise and good use not only for us, but to better the world around us.

What an important reminder for us that we can, by not only our words but also by our deeds, teach our children a healthy, appropriate role for money and all of the material objects in our lives!

My "Emergency" Shabbat

We'd run out of Shabbat candles. We couldn't get groceries. We weren't going anywhere. What's a family to do but improvise?

This Friday, we had planned to spend Shabbat dinner at the JCC. Of course, life is what happens when you're making other plans. Evelyn came down with either a bad cold or a mild case of the flu (we'd all gotten the flu shot) and had a fever, which meant that we were staying home.

I opened the fridge. Half a gallon of milk, a few sticks of butter and a lot of condiments stared back at me. So I turned to the pantry. Angel hair pasta, dried garlic, olive oil ... a few fresh grape tomatoes. I did happen to have some Parmesan cheese in the fridge, so dinner was saved!

We used votive candles. I don't think they were kosher. I don't think it mattered. The important thing was, we were all together.

"Emergency" Shabbat Dinner:

Ingredients:

pasta
olive oil
a spoonful of minced dried or fresh garlic
chopped tomatoes
Parmesan cheese

Cook pasta according to package directions; drain. Pour enough oil into pot to coat the bottom; add garlic. Cook over medium heat until garlic begins to turn golden. Add tomatoes and cook until tomatoes begin to soften. Remove from heat: add pasta and toss to coat. Add more oil, if you need to. Serve with cheese.