Eight Ways to Celebrate Hannukah--Without the Presents

Leah Doberne-Schor

My good friend Rabbi Leah Doberne-Schor tells this story:

“One of my friends is a minister. He tells me that one of the hardest times of the year for him is Christmas, because every year he has members of his congregation who feel that they must provide the perfect holiday for their family. Some of them go into debt in order to celebrate the holiday season the way society has told them to. Although he tells them that this is not what Christmas is supposed to be about at all, he often feels that he is swimming upstream.

“Truth is, it’s not just Christians who struggle with materialism this time of year. It’s all of us. We all want to treat our kids, to give them something special. But we all wonder – how much is too much? How can we celebrate Hannukah with our kids without teaching them that it’s all about what we give and what we get; what we want and how much we have?”

Of course we know that the message of Hannukah is not “buy more stuff,” but most of us have inherited the American tradition of gift-giving for a winter holiday—for many Jews, this has become eight gifts for eight nights. Every December, whipped into a frenzy by the constant bombardment of television commercials, mailings, e-mails and now Groupons, we feel the need to shop like mad to make our families happy. But are we ultimately making our kids happy, or teaching them to want more? Once the novelty of all these gifts wears off, will they still feel satisfaction, or will the feel the emptiness that leads so many to desire more and more without ever feeling whole?

Now that we both have young children, Leah and I are struggling with this idea ourselves. How can we make Hannukah special and fun without piling on the presents? While we can’t pretend to know all the answers, we thought it might be fun to work together to share eight ways to celebrate—one for each night.*

1. Fry Something New. The story of Hannukah centers around oil—that’s why Ashkenazic Jews eat latkes and why Jews in Israel eat sufganiyot (jelly donuts). Why not try some new fried treats? Fried chicken, fried mushrooms, fried Twinkies—it’s a special occasion, so go for it. Fish and chips places often offer fried Oreos and fried candy bars. To really get into it, pull out your own deep fryer or skillet make something crispy together.

2. Party! Celebrate the festival of lights with family, friends and community. Host a party or just attend one—your local synagogue or JCC is likely having a Hannukah celebration anyone can attend. Especially this year, when Hannukah falls during winter break, lots of communities are having special family-oriented celebrations.

3. Get Crafty. Get out the stampers and glitter pens and create cards to send to family and friends. Make your own (working or non-working) menorahs from found objects. (At Tree of Life in Columbia, SC, where Leah is a member, they use bolts glued to bricks.) Really make a dreidel out of clay, and when it’s dry and ready … well, you know what to do.

4. Gamble … or Don’t. Play a traditional game of spin the dreidel, or make up your own game. Games to try: See if you can get all the dreidels spinning at once; see who can spin a dreidel the longest; can you spin one upside down?; from how high can you drop a dreidel and have it spin?

5. Visit the Library. Gather Hannukah books and movies, then enjoy them together at home. One to look for: “Dinosaur on Hanukkah” by Diane Levin Rauchwerger and Jason Wolff. You can also look to PJ Library for suggestions.

6. Give Some Gelt. Put some coins in the tzedakah box each night of the holiday, then decide together where the money should go. You can use the tzedakah box you use all year, or make a special one just for Hannukah.

7. Reconnect with a Relative. Arrange a phone call with an older relative you don’t talk to often—a great aunt, an uncle or a cousin, for example. Ask her how she remembers celebrating Hannukah as a child, then try some of those traditions yourselves.

8. Create a Special Tradition. Each family is different, so why not create a tradition that is unique to yours? For you, it may be knitting night, or board games, or baking cookies. You may all want to take out your musical instruments and play together. The point is, spend time together doing something you love.

Does your family have a special Hannukah tradition? Are you starting a new one this year? Take a picture and share it here!

*Tradition tells us that the lights of the Hannukah menorah are meant for pure enjoyment. In other words, we’re not supposed to do any work by them. We add a ninth candle (or, in some communities, an extra lamp in the room) so that, should we for some reason do work during the time the candles are burning, we can say we’re doing so by the light of the shamash, and not the festival candles. The point is, while the candles are burning, it’s time to celebrate and have fun together!